


Backup

by Unpretty



Series: Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts [38]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unpretty/pseuds/Unpretty
Summary: Nightwing shows up ten minutes late with McDonald's.





	Backup

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happened when [David](http://itswalky.tumblr.com/) [Willis](http://www.dumbingofage.com/) asked me to caption this picture:

For a long moment, the inside of the car was silent except for the sound of a burger wrapper.

Nightwing started to take a bite, then stopped with a sigh.

Even he could not pretend that this was normal.

"What is she doing here?" he asked finally.

"I'm _helpin'_ ," Harley said, somehow managing to say it quite clearly even though her lips never touched. Her lipstick was a dark matte, and getting a dark matte just right required surgical precision that she could somehow still manage in the back of a moving vehicle without any lights.

"Why, though."

"In case he needs backup!"

"That's why _I'm_ here," Nightwing pointed out.

"Sure," she said, somehow making the word sound entirely composed of vowels, snapping her compact shut. " _Now_."

Nightwing sighed. "I was ten minutes late." He looked to Batman, who said nothing. " _Ten minutes_."

"A lot can happen in ten minutes," Harley said, primly putting her things back into her bag.

Batman still said nothing, but tilted his head just enough and just long enough that Nightwing knew he was looking pointedly at his fries.

"I'm not apologizing for the fact that I wanted real food," Nightwing said. He turned around in his seat to look back at Harley. "Have you _seen_ his little protein shake things?

"They're his robo-fuel!"

"You know he's not a robot."

"Yeah, _I_ know that."

Harley and Nightwing both looked at Batman. Nightwing turned back around in his seat. "I had a busy day, I didn't have time to eat, so I got some food. It was a totally reasonable thing to do."

"What's even your day job?" Harley wondered. "Y'ain't gettin' paid for this." Then she gasped. "Are ya in college now?" she asked, delighted.

"He dropped out," Batman said before Nightwing could respond.

Harley gasped even louder.

"Now, wait a minute," Nightwing began, before Harley interrupted by cuffing his ear. "Ow! Harley!"

"That's _Dr._ Harley to _you_ , young man." She looked to Batman. "Tell him he has to go back to school."

"He's an adult now," Batman said. "He can do what he wants."

Harley narrowed her eyes at Nightwing. "Is that why ya had that mullet?"

"It was _not_ a _mullet_ —"

"Is this what youthful rebellion looks like when a dork tries to do it?"

"You'd know better than I would," Batman said.

"Hey!" She backhanded his shoulder, then sighed. "I guess I _did_ go to med school." She reached over Nightwing's shoulder to grab a fry. "But I also did a _lot_ of coke."

Nightwing, mid-sip, choked on his iced tea.

"A _looooot_ of coke," she added, chewing. "In retrospect I was prolly self-medicatin'." She put a hand on Nightwing's shoulder. " _Not_ that that makes it okay," she said. "Listen to your Aunt Harley. Don't do coke."

"Yes, Dr. Aunt Harley."

"If ya needed money for school, ya coulda called me," she said.

"You don't have any money."

"I can get money." She paused. "An' I'm _real_ good at gettin' scholarships."

"You're a genius," Batman reminded her, managing to make the statement of fact sound not at all complimentary.

"That _did_ help," she agreed.

"Why is she _actually_ here?" Nightwing asked.

"She has some leads on Crane."

"I've been tryin' to find him so we can have a nice talk about medical ethics," she said with a grin.

"She wants to cave his skull in with a giant hammer," Batman corrected.

"An' you're gonna try an' stop me!" she agreed, still just as cheerful. She leaned forward to drape her arms over the headrest of both front seats. "We're gonna have so much fun."


End file.
